


Woof Woof Cause I Ride It Good

by twerkinshield



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bodyswap, Dirty Talk, F/M, Frottage, M/M, Twerking, Witches, magical transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 06:43:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twerkinshield/pseuds/twerkinshield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek end up in each other's bodies. Derek sulks. Stiles twerks... in Derek's body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Woof Woof Cause I Ride It Good

**Author's Note:**

> Musical Inspiration: “Itty Bitty Piggy” by Nicki Minaj  
> Dedicated to my flawless muses Sarah and Emily  
> I own nothing except for the prompt for twerking!Derek. The title comes from the song.

Witches. Why is it always witches? Scum-sucking magical little whores. Derek contemplates his situation and muses on why his misfit pack of were-puppies always has to poke the most dangerous things with a proverbial stick. I mean really, do these fuckers have _any_ sense of self-preservation? Derek watches as the pack pick themselves up off the ground and look around for any possible lingering danger. He looks over at Stiles and they share a mutually understanding look of ‘ _what the ever loving fuck is going on here?_ ’ Derek then proceeds to have an inner spazz attack because even though he recognizes that he’s looking at Stiles, he realizes that he’s looking at Stiles in _his own_ fucking body. Fuck everything.

Later on when the pack is safely ensconced back in the newly rebuilt Hale house everything is brought to light. But only after everyone laughs their collective asses off. Derek just wants to smack them all with a rolled up newspaper like the little ankle-biters they are. However, he’s weak as a kitten in Stiles’ body and his glare is about as effective as his growl. Which is to say not at all. Meanwhile he gets to watch Stiles flounce around in his body making ridiculous faces and doing poses that make fun of Derek’s not inconsiderable biceps. Erica, Isaac, and Scott are taking turns to request different lines and poses from Stiles version of Derek while Derek quietly seethes in the corner. And no he is totally not pouting thank you very much. Jackson and Boyd are no help, even if they aren’t actively participating in the shenanigans. The only people who are being of any help are Lydia and Allison who are busy looking through the Bestiary for clues about reversing the transformation.

So of course it’s when he leaves to go to the washroom (don’t think about touching Stiles’ dick _don’t think about touching Stiles’ dick_ ) that shit hits the fan. Derek returns to the living room just in time to see his entire pack rolling on the floor and laughing so hard that tears are being shed. Even quiet Boyd and the ever-dignified Lydia are losing their shit. Knowing full well it’s all Stiles’ fault, because it’s _always_ Stiles’ fault, he makes the mistake of looking at his own Stiles-inhabited body. His own body, which is currently _moving_ to some god-awful song on the stereo. Derek doesn’t even know if it actually qualifies as dancing because all Stiles is making him do is shake his ass. Derek stands frozen in the doorway completely horrified while watching his own ass bounce like it’s in an MTV music video. Derek then realizes why Stiles is dancing to this particular song.

“ _Like give up, it’s me! I win, you lose!_

_Ahahahaha! Oh shit! Hahaha yo!”_

Stiles is busy making Derek’s body do all the accompanying lyrics and sassy hand gestures. He watches Stiles shake himself off briefly before stretching a bit, and wonders what fresh hell will be unleashed next. But once again, Stiles surprises him. This time by crouching down onto his haunches like a rabbit and raising both of his hands over his head.  Stiles then thrusts Derek’s ass out like a porn star and starts to sing along with the chorus.

_“I’m a bad bitch, I’m a I’m a bad bitch”_

Each syllable is punctuated by a quick bounce of ass in time with the music. Derek is momentarily mesmerized by the movements he had no idea his body could even make.  

_“I’m a bad bitch, I’m a I’m a bad bitch”_

Derek is then struck by a thought. _Where and when exactly did Stiles learn how to do this?_ He looks back just in time to see Stiles circle his own hips in a slow, deliberately teasing manner.

_“I’m a bad bitch, I’m a I’m a bad bitch”_

Stiles continues to dance with short hip thrusts but varies them by using his bent legs to move upwards and then back down. Derek can barely hear the pack’s laughter now. Their noise muted by the roar of lust in his head at the thought of Stiles, _real_ Stiles, practicing these delicious moves alone in his bedroom at night. Stiles and his pert little ass bouncing and thrusting around his room. Stiles moving like that, looking like he’s ready to just bend over and _take it_.

_“I’m a bad bitch, I’m a I’m a bad bitch”_

And then Derek realizes he’s now sporting a boner. About Stiles. In Stiles’ own body. Lamenting just how weird his situation is Derek watches Stiles finish up the dance to a round of applause and cheers from the pack, and bows with a flourish. Stiles then looks up and meets Derek’s eyes from across the room, his eyes then move down his own body and widen when he sees the bulge that Derek is sporting in his pants. Stiles slowly slides his eyes from his own crotch back to where Derek’s gaze is piercing his own.  Luckily, Scott interrupts because he wants to show everyone a cat video on Youtube and distracts everyone long enough for Derek to make his escape.

He awkwardly makes into the empty kitchen while trying to hide his erection from everyone.  The number display on the stove is the only source of light in the room, casting everything in a muted red glow.  Derek places his palms against the cool elements and leans against the stove to try and calm his overactive body. _Stiles’_ body. Derek is so intent on stifling the intense arousal coursing through his blood that he doesn’t notice anything else. He’s broken out of his concentration by large hands on his hips and a solid wall of hot, hard muscle against his back.

“Something on your mind there Derek?”

Stiles’ voice is low and honey-smooth in his ear. Hot breath ghosting over his neck and making him shiver. Everything is so _intense_ in this fragile human body. Every touch from the tightening of the hands on his hips, to the scruff rubbing against his neck, and finally to the hard length of a cock pressing between the clothed cheeks of his ass. Derek is suddenly struck with what kind of compromising position he’s in and wonders what Stiles must see. Derek, bent over the stove and panting softly for Stiles to just _please_ keep touching him. He can feel Stiles’ grin against the soft skin of his shoulder and is startled into a low moan by Stiles slowly thrusting his clothed cock against Derek’s ass. And of course, because this is Stiles, he’s not keeping quiet about anything.

“Fuck, you smell so good Derek, so warm. Is this what you guys smell all the time? All this arousal? You’re practically fucking _soaked_ in this scent, I just want to rub myself _all over you_ and make you _whine_ and _beg_ for it”.

Derek can’t even form the words necessary to tell Stiles to just _shut up_ and keep thrusting. He barely manages to shove Stiles away to turn around before Stiles is using one hand to grab his hip to line up their groins, and the other to lift Derek’s leg to wrap around his waist. Derek can barely breathe as he watches the movement of Stiles’ hips slowly sliding to grind against his groin. The friction is delicious and Derek is startled to realize that the heat is already pooling in his gut, and his control is getting closer to uncoiling. Fucking teenage stamina. Derek decides to throw caution to the wind and wraps his arms around Stiles’ broad shoulder to cling to him.  Stiles looks him straight in the eyes and kisses him wetly, fucking his mouth with his tongue. Derek groans at the _hot-wet-good_ feel of Stiles’ tongue and gives as good as he’s getting. Stiles lets out a low snarl at the scent of arousal in the room and their kisses start getting sloppy and uncoordinated. Derek can feel the white hot heat moving down his body, getting more and more intense until suddenly he’s closing his eyes and biting into Stiles’ shoulder to ride out his orgasm. Stiles gives a low whine, smelling Derek’s come, and gives one last strong thrust against Derek’s oversensitive cock and comes in his pants.

They just stand there panting into each other’s space while coming down from their high, meanwhile Derek tries to regain his senses. Stiles grins impishly and rests his forehead against Derek’s. Derek smirks at him wolfishly and gently nips at Stiles’ neck again before quietly pushing him away.

“I guess there were some perks to this spell”, admits Derek grudgingly.

Stiles quietly shakes with restrained laughter and then takes Derek’s hand to lead him upstairs.

“Where are we going?”

“Dude I don’t know about you but I’m gonna go change underwear. I’m pretty sure your puppies will be able to smell our jizz if we go back in there like this”

“… Point taken. And don’t call me dude”

“Oh, and remind me to talk to Scott before everyone leaves tonight”

“Why? I thought he was getting a ride with Allison tonight?”

“I totally need to get him to send me the video of you twerking. I’m not letting that kind of spank material get away from me!”

“… Only if you show me how _you_ twerk in this body later. Turnabout is fair play after all”

“Sounds like a plan dude”

“ _Stop fucking calling me dude”_

“No can do Mr. Hot-Shot Alpha, I am after all a ‘ _bad bitch_ ’ “

Derek can do nothing but shake his head while Stiles cackles on their way upstairs. Fucking _witches_ man. 


End file.
